We were born to Die
by Lisoro
Summary: I grabbed my diary from him. "How dare you! This is mine. Only for me to read!" It was hard to focus when he was only wearing a towel, bare-chested. "Now really?" He pushed me against the wall with his evil smirk. "Keep staring like that and I might have to take some action." Oh damn. He was right there leaning towards me with one hand on my face and one on my hip. Smirking.
1. Introducing the Potters

_Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Harry Potter or any of __J. K. Rowling_ _ characters._

**Well I know this is not exactly new, but I wanted to write my own story, Sooo read and be happy, and if you have a problem just _Review_**

**.. because that actually helps a lot..**

**and one more thing.. In my story James Potter is a ****Seeker.**

**-So here we go.**

**Chapter one;**

_**Introducing the Potters and meet Mr. Black – your worst nightmare.**_

I think I will start at the beginning. Or their beginning.

_It all started that day.. the first day of the winter holidays when James had with him that black kid home._

I sat reading in my book waiting for James to come home, I missed him a lot and he knew it.. but I will never admit it to him, that bastard. He had been gone for half a year, and things had been pretty boring without him, he always made my day, even if he was the one to ruin it too.

I heard the door open and dropped my book as familiar voice said "_Hello" _I jumped of my chair and ran to the door.

"Jamsie!" I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. After a short moment he let me softly down. He looked a little nervous so I smiled, and looked at him skeptical.. he was not the type of guy that used to be nervous, when I think of it.. I don't know if I have ever seem him nervous before today, and that made me kind of afraid.

''What is it, did not you buy me a Christmas gift? Or are you afraid of me freaking out, by seeing your ugly face?" I joked, but he just waved a hand through his hair.. not good.

"Actually, there is someone I want you to meet." He stepped aside and a boy with dark hair and gray eyes came to light. "Sirius, This is my kid sister Aveluxy Potter. Lexy this is Sirius Black, he will be staying here in this holiday."

I looked blanked at the guy. Waiting for him to disappear, but he didn't.

"So this is the little princess I-" I punched him in the stomach with all my strength, even if it wasn't much. "_Ouch_"

"who do you think you are stealing James,_ from me!_" I cried and ran up to my room leaving a frustrated James behind, but I didn't care.. it was supposed to be my Christmas with James..- alone.

I locked my bedroom door so James wouldn't get in, then I walked to my closet to hid in it. I didn't want anyone to see me, and most of all not find me..

I closed the closet door behind me and sat down in the corner with my knees up under my chin. I sat there in silent until I slowly started crying. As I cried thing – clothes – in the closet began to fly around me.

I didn't sit long in the closet before I heard the door open up – cursing James's talent in muggle lock picking – and somebody stepped inside... hopefully James, I didn't want to talk to that _Black_ kid.

"Lexie? Where are you?" A soft voice spoke carefully as I recognized as James's. I hold my breath so he had a less chance to guess where I was.

When the closet door opened up I puled my head into my hands and closed my eyes trying to hid a little.

"Lexie.." He sighed sadly and pulled me into a comforting hug and all the clothes flying around dropped down. My hole body was tense, but as he rubbed my back comforting inn softly circles, I began to slowly relax. "you know, I came home just to be with you?" He whispered into my ear.

"Then why is that black kid here?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but he probably noticed how thin it was.

"Well that _Black kid _has a cruel family, and I could not let him be locked up in a dark room for the entire Christmas holidays, could I?.. because it is the Christmas holidays after all." He smirked "And I did not forget your present either."

At those words I pulled a little back and looked at him, now excited. "You bough me a present?"

"Yes"

"What is it?"

"I can not tell you, so you have to wait for Christmas"

"That is not fun at all.."

"I know, but Lexy" He said my name a little more serious, and I knew what was coming.

"Yeah.." I said innocently.

"you have to be nice to Sirius"

"no.."

"you know you have to.. for my sake?"

"fine, I wont kick him out of the hose."

"Lexy" He pushed

" 'Key, I will try to be.. polite. And I said try." I said that against my will.

"You have to apologize for that blow too" He looked so serious that I didn't even dare to argue against him.

"Okey.. is he- is he angry?" He smirked at me and wiped away my lost tears.

"No, not at all" he said honestly.

"Come one" He said at the same time he rose up. "shall we go down stairs?" he looked at me and I nodded.

I stood up and walked out of the closet. James grabbed my hand and began to lead me down to the living room.

Before we walked inn, I stopped James and looked at the floor. "I don't know if I can do this, Jamsie"

"of course you can, it is only to go inside and look at him.. and say 'I am sorry' It easy" he began to walk again and I followed him.. but nervous.. I was simply not the one to apologize to.. anyone.

When we walked into the room I saw Sirius look at some of the family photos, and I had to bite my tongue to not yell at him and ask him who he though he was having the freedom to look at other peoples personal stuff.

"ehm.. Sirius..?" I said so nervous I was almost caking, and I had to squeeze James's hand when the Black kid turned around. "Um, I'm.. - I am.." I couldn't look him inn the eye, so I stared at his feet and squeeze James's hand even harder. "Sorry" I breathed.

"Oh, I don't mind, I understand that you don't want a stranger to walk into your hose and steal James from you, isn't that right?"

I nodded and looked now at _my_ feet. I felt so ridiculous.

"anyways, how old are you" He already knew this, but asked anyway.

"nine" Was all I could say.

"She will be ten at June the fifteenth, next year." James smiled at his best friend.

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><p><em>Next year at the same time, Aveluxy has met Sirius to times total, once in the winter holidays when she greeted him with a punch in the stomach, and second when he stayed half of the summer holidays at the Potters.<em>

_And now he returned to the small family to stay there during the Christmas._

_Aveluxy (lexy) is now ten years old. James and Sirius are attending Hogwarts in their second year._

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><p>I sat at my dads lap wondering if they will ever come. "Dad, they take forever! I want to play and hear stories about Hogwarts again. Do you think they will be here soon?" I asked enthusiastic.<p>

"Your mother will be here soon, I am sure they wont be long." Just as he said that, the font door opened and someone said "_Hello, I am home_" I Smiled and knew it was James.

I ran to him screaming "Jamsie" and then I saw Black and stopped, before I yelled "Sirie!" And jumped into his arms, and he welcomed it with a tight hug. " 'Ello, miss." he greeted nicely.

"Now who is stealing who?" James said sarcastic and I felt my cheeks started to burn.

"move along kids. And it will be dinner in twenty or forty minutes." My mom said.

"Alright Mom"

"Fine, Mom"  
>Me and James said at the same time.<p>

"Do you want any help Mrs. Potter?" Sirius asked politely.

"Eh, no thanks, I think I am better of anyways."

As the time flew by, I found myself sitting on Sirius's lap, and he told me about what he and James had been doing this year together with to other boys named Remus and Petter. Then he told me about his name 'Sirius' that belonged to a star in the sky. 'The great dog' it was also called. "you know, it even has it one prophecy"

"_Sirius rises late in the dark, liquid sky  
>On summer nights, star of stars,<br>Orion's Dog they call it, brightest  
>Of all, but an evil portent, bringing heat<br>And fevers to suffering humanity."_

_©Homer 1997©_

"I don't think you can be evil at all, Sirius." I smiled.

"Well even I don't think I can, and I'll never be evil, I promise." He looked serious, and I nodded.

"Promise of a lifetime?"

"yeah, promise of a lifetime."

"Then I believe you."

He smirked at me "Do you know what your name means?"

I shocked my head in respond.

" It means speed light in Latin. Ave means speed and lux means light. They just added a -y as an ending. It's a nice name."

"hmpf."

"Padfoot! Get your ass down here, right now.. we have a lot to do!" James yelled from outside.  
>As far as I knew they had just began to call each other 'Padfoot' and 'Prongs'<p> 


	2. A Potter

_**So this is the next chapter. 'A Potter'**_

_**Disclaimer; I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.**_

_**R&R : )**_

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><p><em>Aveluxy had turned eleven and was on her way to Hogwarts for the first time in here life.<em>

_She sat alone one the train for now. While James and the others where off doing pranks on everyone – except her._

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><p>"Hi, can I join you? There seem to be no other place" A boy with blond hair just asked her in a Scottish accent.<p>

"Sure you can, it is only me here"

He smirked to me and I watched him drag his briefcase inn with him.

"So are you first year?" He asked as he sat down opposite to me.

"Yes, actually I am." I smiled.

"Me too." He smirked and looked out of the window "which house do you want to get sorted into?"

"definitely Gryffindor, what about you"

"Griffindor or huffelpuff." he answered with a smile.

"the houses of the brave at heart and loyalty." I said to myself.

"yeah, that's what I treasure the most."

"Me to, but to be honest it sound more fun too be in Griffindor, besides I want to be in the same house as my brother – James."

"That's right we haven't introduced us to each other. My name is Lucas River"

"And I am Aveluxy Potter, but don't dare to use it! Tough you can call me Lexy."

"Your a Potter?"

"yeah, and your a River"

He smirked. "No, I meant.. your a Potter? A pure-blood?"

"Yeah, so..?"

"Oh, nothing."

We sat talking to each other the entire train ride, except when we had to change into our school uniform. And before we knew it.. we where best friends.

When we arrived the school trough small four-man boats, a woman... Professor McGonagall told us a bit about the four different houses and their founders.

When we finally walked into the great hall, everybody looked at us. But I didn't notice it, because I was too busy looking at the roof.. or what should have been a roof, but instead it looked like the most beautiful night sky.

The only thing that made me look away was a voice that had began to sing trough the entire hall. When I finally found out where the voice came from, I was totally stunned. The voice came from a hat... a wizard hat. Nobody told me anything about a hat.. or maybe they had... but I never paid it much attention.

_'I will now sort you into your rightful house, but first you have to learn about their past._

_Griffindor – founded by Godric Griffindor choose that his house was for those brave at heart._

_While Rowena Ravenclaw treasured the wise one most of all._

_Helga Hufflepuff said anyone and everybody had the right too learn about magic, and took inn everyone that did not fit in any other house, and she taught them about loyalty and fairness._

_But Salazar Salazar Slytherin did only take inn those pure at blood._

_Inn the beginning everything went well, but one day no one agreed do Salazar on his beliefs._

_When Godric too took the side of muggleborns, Salazar left Hogwarts – betrayed by not only his comrades, but by his friend too._

_A rivalry between the too houses was formed, and has continued to this wary day, and without doubt will continue through generations and generations._

_But one day it is said, the peace will return once and for all._

_So try me on, and you will see._

_Where you finally belong.'_

McGonagall started to read up names in alphabetic order of our surname.

Croude, Michael became the first Slytherin. (also the first one called.)

Franck, Louise was the first Hufflepuff.

Then Meicher, Alexia where named the first Ravenclaw.

And at least Olsen, Louis joined Griffindor.

"Potter, Aveluxy"

I Walked slowly up to the hat and let it slip over my head.

_**So, what do we have here?**_

_A happy Griffindor with the name of Aveluxy Potter?_

_**Well, maybe. You are brave, but also smart and loyal. But what do I see here? A little selfish too? Perhaps Slytherin?**_

_No,no,no.. it is true, I can be selfish, but I do try my best not to be so cruel, well except when it comes to James._

_**I see a lot of family loyalty, that's good, but are you sure you don't want to be in Slytherin?**_

_Yes, deadly._

_**Well, well then, where should I putt you.. you have too much pride to be a Hufflepuff it seems. And to much potential to be in Ravenclaw. So if Griffindor will do-**_

_Oh yeah, I am sure it will._

_**Very well then.**_

"**Griffindor!**" The hat screamed so everybody could hear it.

I took the hat of and went to the Griffindor table.

And was soon joined but Lucas. We watched the ceremony until it finally was finished. James, Sirius and their friends congratulated me on getting into Griffindor.

"Well I guess I will be seeing your face a lot now when you have joined our house, or will you be running around like a maniac like you used to?" Sirius winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and looked quickly at Lucas before turning my gaze towards him. "You wish Black."

He smirked at me and I had to bite my tongue. "Why? I already have everything, and I know it's true." He leaned closer towards me and sighed "And just to get it clear _Miss Potter_if I want, need or wish for something. I will get it, no matter what. I will just reach out and grab it."

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><p><strong>Hope you like it, and I know it's not perfect.. but I couldn't wait longer to release it.<strong>

**But please give me some feedback on the chapter! I need it.. seriously.**

**Love you all,**

**Lisa.**


	3. Importance

**Thank you everyone!**

**So I know this chapter is a little short, but I think you guys will like it.**

**Disclaimer; I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER**

**Chapter three. 'Importance'**

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><p><em>Four years had gone since then, and Aveluxy was at the beginning of her fifth year at Hogwarts. She and Luke (as she now called Lucas) had agreed to go out together. It wasn't a big step for them, they had both had boyfriends and girlfriends before. And everyone had expected it to happen, sooner or later. And her brother James had even gambled with Sirius one when. And speaking of them.. James are now head over heels over a girl named Lily.. Lily Evans I think. And Sirius had been dating a lot up inn the years, he maybe had three or four serious relationship all together.. including Aveluxy's best girl friend – Elliot Pierce.. same age and same house.<em>

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><p>I woke up 7am on Monday morning at Hogwarts. I got out of my bed and lazily and went to the bathroom to shower. After drying myself I puled on the school uniform, applied my makeup and did my hair. When I was done with it all I garbed my backpack and walked to the great hall for breakfast.<p>

I joined Luke as always, and when I sat down he gave me a softly hug. "fancy a little walk with me later?" he whispered in my ear and finished with a kiss my cheek.

"Of course. You didn't have ask for that." I smirked at him, and then ate my breakfast.

When I was just about too leave the great hall, an enormous explosion clanged trough the hall, it probably happened right outside the door.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Luke. "I bet it is the marauders again."

He smirked "And I bet that Snape guy is the offer."

"Snivellus? Maybe.." I said and began to walk towards the door. I was soon joined by Luke and he putted a hand around my hip, and I smirked happily leaning against him.

We walked trough the door and saw Snape hang upside down dressed like a ugly woman with bows in his hair. I laughed so hard at the sign that almost couldn't do the 'Liberacorpus' to sett him free.

Snape simply walked away without even saying a word. "A thank you, wouldn't hurt." I muttered.

"Lexy, why did you do that? You ruined a masterpiece." I heard James complained when they came out of their hiding spot (one of the secret passageways).

At the sight of the marauders Luke puled me even tighter into him. I didn't mind it, but I couldn't understand why.

"Well, dear James.. did you not know that Lily would hate you for exact that?" I simply answered.

"Oh, come -"

"More importantly.." Sirius pointed out. "Are you guys together now?" he crossed his arms and leaned back supporting his perfectly relaxed body against the wall.

He looked dangerously handsome where he stood, his gray eyes studying me with one of those _bloody perfect_ black locks hanging over his perfect gorgeous pale featured face.

Too bad he never saw me twice a day.

I met Sirius's gaze carefully and Luke squeezed me tighter and made me deeply blush as I smirked. "yeah, matter of factly.. we are."

Sirius smirked knowingly back at me.

I shook my head to clear it up before I turned away from him, "lets go Luke, we have potions remember?" I looked at him.

"yeah, with that lovely professor, right."

We started to walk towards the dungeons.

"Oi! River, I have to talk to you about Quidditch later!" James screamed after us, and I had to roll my eyes at it.. because I knew James wasn't going to talk about Quidditch with Luke, the fact that he called him 'River' instead of Luke or Lucas said so.

"See you then, James" Luke said over his shoulders.

"Lovely guys, right?" I said through clenched teeth, as we went down to the dungeons.

"yeah, real sweethearts.." He mocked.

"But seriously, I don't understand why everyone are _sooo_ jealous because _I_ have to spend all _my_ free time with the pair of them." I said without thinking.

Luke stopped walking and looked at me. "What do you mean you have to spend all your free time with them?" He asked a bit annoyed.

"Well, Sirius moved in to our house this summer. And I see him most of the other holidays anyway. And I live with James.. of the fact that he is my brother. It is a living hell, I promise you." I smirked and began to walk again.

"Why didn't you tell me that in one of the letters?"

I stopped to turned around and look at him. He had his arms crossed, obviously annoyed that I never told him.

I stunned and looked at him in the eye, those beautiful ice blue eyes.

"Luke, I didn't tell you because_ I_ didn't finned it of _importance_, he's just one of James's friends that I met before going to Hogwarts. And you are the only on that _never_ pouched me to talk about him."

He looked down and mumbled something I didn't catch.

"what was that?" I asked and tried to get eye contact with him again.

He looked up and studied me "Maybe I should have pouched you to talk about _him_."

This was unbelievable, how could he!

"you serious? What exactly do you think are going on between me and him?"

He putted his hands on the hips and leaned against me, looking deep into my eyes. "Lexy, you didn't think a guy moving in to your house was _of importance_.. what am I supposed to think?"

"If _he_ moved in for _me_ I would have kicked his ass out and told you about it." I wasn't sure if that was a lie or not. "But he _didn't!_ He moved in for _James_, not _me_." At least that was the truth.

Luke seemed a lot more relaxed at once. "Lexy, you have to tell me this thing." He said so softly that I almost melted.

"fine, I will tell you everything form now on." I promised, not sure if I could keep it.

We locked hands and went to our classes together.

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><p><strong>So what do you think?<strong>

**If you feel like correcting my wrongs or give me ideas, **

**please review. **

**And I hope I live up to the expectations around writing a Sirius Black story.**

**But I have to apologize for all the wrong grammar, and I must say that english wasn't and still isn't one of my strongest subject.**

**So long then,**

**your beloved writer**

**-Lisa. **


	4. A Walk and Talk

**Thanks for reading my story!**

**And hey, I hope you like this! Cuz I have been working my perfect butt of to public this chapter. And I must say that I'm quiet satisfied with it! :) **

**So yeah, hope you will love it as much as I do.**

_**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER; **_

_**I AM JUST WRITING ABOUT WHAT J. K HAVE MENTIONED. **_

_R&R_

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><p><strong>Chapter four;<strong>

_**A Walk and Talk.**_

Potions went quiet well, and I earned twenty points for Gryffindor. In Transfiguration Professor McGonagall taught us how to transfigure a cat into a chair, and a chair into a cat. I pretty much slept through divination, a class I didn't take with Luke.

After Divination, I went down to the Great Hall for lunch as I heard a, _"Psst."_

I looked around when I spotted Lily Evans. I pointed at myself to ask quietly, "Me?" and she nodded.

I walked toward her, and followed her to a little more private place.

"So, care to tell me just what exactly your brother is up to?"

"What? Has he done something ridiculous again?" I looked at her, not quite sure what to expect.

"No, that's exactly what's wrong. Haven't heard a word from him... What is he plotting? Should I run away?"

I smirked at her. "No." I thought about James's ridiculous crush on this particularly beautiful lady. "What makes you believe he is up to something?" I asked, eying her.

"That arrogant git is always up to something," she pointed out, and I could see annoyance in her eyes.

"Or maybe he grew up," I said and walked off.

When I arrived at the Great Hall, the first thing I saw was Sirius completely immersed in conversation with a girl I didn't recognize, and then James off to the side, reading the news with a bothered expression.

And finally my gaze found him – Luke, the boy who made my world go mad without even knowing it. He was seated right beside Sirius, and had his head in a book... I didn't know it was even possible to sit next to that man and read a book. I joined him at the table, sitting opposite to him. "Why are you reading a book?" I was waiting for him to put it down at my presence, but he simply didn't.

"Muggle Studies," was all he bothered to say.

I looked at Remus when he joined me, sitting down to my right.

"What is he so hooked up in?" He looked at me and nodded towards Luke.

"Something about Muggle Studies."

"Oh, gods.. that's the-" Was all he managed to get out.

"Potter! You filthy little creep!" yelled an angry voice trough the entire hall. I recognized the voice as the seventh year Ravenclaw, Mike Smith, making his way towards our group. "How dare you!"

"Well I believe you're going to remind me..." began James.

"Not you. Her." He turned towards me and looked me hard in the eyes. I sat there totally relaxed and held his gaze. He had dark brown eyes and matching hair, tanned skin and a well trained body. He was the closest thing Ravenclaw had to a womanizer.

I raised an eyebrow, daring him to speak. He didn't. "You know, if you keep staring at me like that, I might fall in love." My voice was dripping of sarcasm.

"You better watch your back."

"Like you can harm me."

"We will see..we will see."

"I doubt that," I said, watching as he turned and walked off.

I turned to look at my companions. Remus had his mouth open in disbelief, James seemed to be in shock, Luke had raised an eyebrow, clearly wanted to know what was going on, and Peter looked like he wanted to hide. But Sirius hadn't even acknowledged what was going on. He sat there just reading the newspaper he had stolen from James.

I picked up a piece of toast and began to eat it. I felt everyones gaze on me—nearly everyone at the table—so I raised an eyebrow. "What, do I have something on my face?" I asked, staring at my reflection in a spoon.

Slowly, people started to return to their own business.

Except, of course, for a few people we all love and adore.

"What the _hell_ was that about?" Luke began.

"Did _you_ do something?" James continued, still in shock.

"Are you out of your _mind_?" Remus completed.

I rolled my eyes at them. "Luke, I found him snogging Stella Pierce in the hallway when we arrived at school. James, I did tell his girl— his other girlfriend that he cheated on her.. And Remus, no, I am not."

When I finished my lunch I looked at Luke. "Ready for that walk?" I smirked, wanting to get away from this place.

"Anytime."

We rose up from the table and began to walk. When we were out of the Great Hall, we joined hands and I let him lead me to wherever he wanted to go.

"The Stella you said was snogging Smith, was that-?"

"Yeah, Elliot's older sister."

He left it at that and didn't ask anything more.

"Well, I've been thinking."

"Oh, no," Luke joked.

"_Hey..._ Well are you sure... that you want to become an Auror? It's just that with all the Death Eaters and.. You-Know-Who.. I'm not sure if.."

"I will be fine, Lexy. You know I will be." He had a teasing smirk on that perfect face of his, and I felt like hitting him.

So I did, a perfectly nice, friendly, hard hit on the shoulder.

"_Ouch!_ What the fuck was that for?" he rubbed his shoulder where I had hit him. "You know, you really do punch hard, for a girl, anyway."

I bit my tongue so I wouldn't snap and looked at him. "Don't die on me, Luke," I said seriously.

He sighed and laid one of his arms around my shoulders. "I won't, I promised, remember? And I said that I couldn't do that, 'cause I love you too much." He kissed me softly and I found myself wishing we could stay like this forever.

He leaned away and looked at me, waiting for me to say something in return. And then I realized he just said he loved me,_ oh my_... for the love of Merlin's underpants, what was I supposed to do? I just couldn't say I fucking love you, just like that! I was sooo going to...

_What?_ Kick him where it hurt for saying that? Of all the luck on the damned senator's night sky... It just had to be now.

But I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't say, "I love you too" ...but what could I do? Run for it?

"I know," I heard Luke say.

What? Had I just said something? Oh, holy beards.

I smiled at him and continued to walk. "But please, I mean it. Just don't die. Alright?"

"Lexy, take it easy. We have two more years at safe, comforting old Hogwarts. I might even change my mind by the time we graduate."

I immediately lit up, like a child on Christmas Eve, and my head shot up and I imagined the future we could have after this war.

"But don't get your hopes up. I still want to fight for freedom and justice."

"_Arrgh_, why does every _fucking_ single person _I care_ about want to _fight_ and possibly _die_ in this _ridiculous_ war?" I cried.

"Hey, hey easy." He hugged me tightly and rubbed my back comfortingly, calming me down. "Right, who else is going to join this stupid war?" He stroked my arm gently before letting go.

"James and Sirius... hell, even Remus is thinking about it." I swear his eyes darkened for a minute, but it disappeared so fast that I thought it must have just been a trick of the light.

I stepped closer to him and rested my face on his chest.

"I didn't know your brother and his friends wanted that." He softly returned my hug.

"Well, them and their _bloody pride,_ can't sit back when something dangerous and risky is happening." I didn't mean to actually say that. At least, not like that.

"Well someone has to defend the defenseless. Not everyone can flee the country."

"I know, but why us?" I know, I know, the world isn't fair and all that bullshit. But seriously, of all the countries in the world, we had to end up with the most insane, mad, evil prick of all time. I tell you, generations after generations are going to hear about this blockhead in History of Magic. We'll never hear the end of it.

"Why not us? I know it's not fair, but really, it could have been anyone. And I think, no matter who it happened to, it would feel unfair. But maybe there's more to it than that?" Oh Merlin... this is not going to end well.

"Like what?"

"Well, maybe the only person who can stop this maniac will come from this place, or can only grow strong and great here. And, you know, we have to sacrifice something to achieve our goals... Right?" Oh sweet little Luke, you have a lot to learn. If I hadn't cared so much about us right then, I would have strongly disagreed and teared his head off in a heated argument.

Oh, who am I kidding? I just wasn't in the mood right now.

"Hmph."

He laughed. "Shall we continue our walk, or are you completely thrown off by that conversation?"

"Nah, I feel like I need some alone time in the library."

"Then I'll be in the common room if you need me." He pulled away slowly and smiled shyly at me before he began to walk away. I looked at him until he disappeared out of sight.

Soo... great.

What do I do now? I know, I know. I said I was going to the library, but really. Books.

_Fine. _I will do as I said.

I walked to the library and sat down at a table in the back. I just sat there for a while, thinking. Then I pulled my dairy from my backpack and began to write.

_I guess I'm just so tired of being afraid, and yet I have no way of defending myself. Of course I can use magic, but I have no idea how to use my abilities in real life.. when it really comes down to it. To say it in a other way.. I have absolutely no combat skills. None. Nada._

_Don't get me wrong, I'm not the worst one but I don't think I will survive this war without a miracle. But at the same time, I'm not going to lie down in front of the death eaters and die._

_So what can I do?_

_I don't know, but I have to figure it out. Soon._

"Wow, really happy stuff you write there. It warms my heart." I hadn't noticed a tall dark figure leaning over me while I wrote. My heart began to speed race in my chest. Not sure what made me figure out who it was. The voice, the smell, the familiar presence the teasing way it was spoken or the feeling of his closeness. Hm, maybe I just _Knew._

I turnd around, my cheeks burning of shame.. He had _read _what _I wrote_ in my _diary!._

He smirked at me and winked.

_Bastard._

"_Did.._.Did you just read all that crap?" I tried to pull myself together. Relax. Breath. Come on, it was only Sirius Black... We knew each other in-and-out. This was nothing he didn't know already. This was nothing new... Yeah, that's right. He knew all about my 'over thinking habits.' After all, he was always the one to convince me to not give up on life when James couldn't reason with me or get through 'my thick teenage girl skull.'

Breathe.

"You mean,_ 'Oh I can't defend myself, no skills in comeback and what am I supposed to do?'_"

_Bastard._

I crossed my arms over my chest, looking away. "Not _funny_, Black."

"I'm only joking, _Potter._ I have no clue what you wrote in that book, I just guessed... and by your reaction, you just proved my theory correct."

_Damn it,_ I have to stop myself the next time I think I actually can open my mouth and talk to him.

"I don't like you anymore." I closed my book and laid it back into the backpack. "Go away."

Instead of doing as I asked, or ordered to be precise, that _devil _smirked and sat down beside me. Fuck. I knew what was coming at me now.. please.. just _disappear._

But that didn't happen, of course.

"So, tell me." He leaned back, getting comfortable with his arms stretched out on top of the sofa... I knew this. It was a welcome for me to lean into him and tell him everything he wanted to hear.

_Bastard._

"There is not a _bloody_ thing to tell." I looked at some random second year Hufflepuff boy, whose name I didn't know. And when the boy realized I was staring at him, he simply turned away and ran. _Pathetic,_ what am I? It's not like I was about to _murderer_ him or something.

I realized that Sirius had raised an eyebrow at me when I finally dared to look at him. He knew.

A deep sigh left his mouth before he leaned forwards and looked deep into my eyes, with those powerful gray eyes of his. I'm not even sure if it was legal for a human-being to have such powerful eyes. He could give the basilisk some competition.

I held his gaze a few seconds before he spoke. "Look, I know you, so could you at least acknowledge my existence and actually talk to me?"

"No." I looked down. I knew I wasn't treating him fairly. To be honest, I was actually kind of harsh on him, but I didn't want to talk to him, and he wasn't an easy person to shake off.

I felt two of his fingers gently grab my chin and turn my face towards his. "I deserve it. And if you don't care about it, you owe me that. I know that at least means something to you."

Damn him, he was right.. as always.

"Okay, _ fine_. You win."

He smirked and dropped his hands from my chin, waiting for me to start talking.

"I don't like people overhearing my conversations.. Do you know a place?"

He stood up and walked a few steps before he stopped and looked back at me. "Follow me."

_Arrg. _I can't believe I'm actually doing this.

I was in my own world of thoughts when I followed him, not sure what I was supposed to tell him. Well, I knew Sirius.. anything would do, as long as I told him some of my confusing, not understandable, messy thoughts.

I came to my senses when he led me into a room I swear wasn't there a minute ago, and I had never been in before.

It was a small, comfortable room with a two-person couch, a table, and a couple of bookshelves. As I said, a small, perfect room for our little chat.

Sirius when to the couch and sat down.

I stood absolutely still.. I didn't even want to be here in the first place.

His gray eyes looked heavily towards me, daring me to walk out.

I swallowed.

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><p><em>Thanks A LOT to<strong> annaisadinosaur<strong> for helping me with this chapter! It's Amazing! I own you big time :)_

I believe the next chapter will be out in a week or two.


	5. To remember why I hate you

**Thank you all for reading my story!**

**So I have been working Really, Really hard on this chapter, so hope you enjoy :)**

**R&R**

_**(doesn't stand for read and relax.)**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter five<strong>_

_**To remember why I hate you.**_

"Sit," he ordered me and nodded to the empty space to his side. I stared, realizing there was no other place to sit. Well... I knew better than to disobey him.

So I did as he asked – well, _ordered_ – me to.

_Bastard._

"Talk." He had his arm draped over the back of the couch, so if I wanted to I could lean into him. But I didn't.

"Err, right... where do I begin?" I spoke more to myself than to him.

But I got an answer anyway. "Well somewhere on the line of why you are so... _lifeless_ lately."

"Ehm, I will... try," I sighed. "But I'm not-"

He had noticed how tense I was and didn't leave me a choice anymore. He simply locked an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him, forcing me to lean onto him, with my cheek resting on his chest. Like old times.

_Damned bastard._

I relaxed while I listened to his heart beat and his slow, calm breathing. I simply couldn't help it but listen.

We stayed like that for a while before I said anything.

"I actually don't know what has gotten into me. Guess I just had a bad day to begin with."

"Start with Smith."

"Oh, well. He's kind of Ravenclaw's womanizer. He's an ass-"

"I know all that. Tell me what happened."

"Fine." I took a deep breath. "I found him with Stella Pierce, and I'm not quite sure if they where snogging.. Or you know." I could see him raise an eyebrow, but I continued anyway. "So, I told his girlfriend. A lot of drama came out of that... I think you got the idea in the great hall? Yeah. Elliot keeps going on about something... like I ruined her life, I dunno. My point is, she won't speak to me, and she was the best friend I'd ever had, that wasn't a guy, of course."

"Well, I can't help you with that one... I haven't really ever lost a friend like that."

"I know. So, by breakfast I was already in a pissy mood, but at least for a while Luke made me forget about it."

"Nice kid, that one." Sirius smirked and I couldn't stop myself from blushing. "Well, continue, I know there's a 'but' coming up."

"Yeah, but, then when we began our walk or... whatever it was." I let the sentence hang in the air for a minute while I thought.

I couldn't go on, no, _I will not go on._ No way in hell. I'm not going to continue. I have played Black's game long enough.

I stood up while I spoke. "Oh, well... this has been a lovely chit-chat and all... but I'm fairly sure... I have to do something... Yeah, class has probably started already... I _better start to run_-" As I mumbled I began to move towards the door...

Oh, this is so pathetic.

"Ave_luxy."_

I froze.

Breathe.

Okay...

I'm going to die.

I'm going to_ fucking die!_

I hate you, Sirius.

I _hate_ you Black.

This is it.

_Breathe._

I started to slowly move towards the door, praying I would get away this way.

"_Don't _even think about it, _Miss_ Potter."

But_ nooo._

And did I mention I hated how he use _words_ against me?

I hate him.

_"Sit."_

And I obeyed him once again.

_Bastard._

"So continue."

"_Fine!_ We started to walk and then we began to talk about 'after school', You-know-who and being a hero. I just don't understand this _fucking ridiculous war!_ All of you want to throw yourself at his feet! Why does everyone have such a death wish? _You_ and James can't sit still for _a moment_. All of you want to be _the knight in shining armor!_ And now Luke wants to become a fucking Auror too! And just because of _me_... I know I'm failing in DADA, but I _never_ asked for any of you to throw away your _lives _because of it. I can't take it. You're all going to die, I know it. And _I_ can't _take_ it. I might be selfish, but how_ the hell_ can you all do this against _me_?" I cried, and felt ridiculous. "It's not fair. It's not fair. Why, why, why? It's not fair!" I continued for a minute.

I knew Sirius has been thinking while I spoke and mumbled, but I was scared for his response because I acted like a brat, and I knew it.

But he asked for it.

After sitting in silence for a while, his gray eyes looked up to mine, and what I saw in them was bitterness. He sighed and pulled me into a friendly hug. My cheek against his chest once again, listening to the heart beat, and I began to feel better after a while.

"Feeling better now?" His soft voice whispered into my ear.

After those three words I began to feel ashamed. Who was I to speak like that?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such an ignorant brat."

This is ridiculous, I _apologized._ Now I really hate him.

I could hear Sirius groan before he spoke with a bloody smirk on his face. "First of all, we're not falling at Voldemort's feet – no arguments, Lexy." He knew I was going to argue... idiot. "And James and I in _shining armor_? That's humiliating. Really. But you're right. We want to fight for those we love. Me, you and James are pure-bloods, but not all of our friends are. Remus and Pete are half-bloods, Evans is Muggle-born. _Lucas_ is half-blood. And their families, Lexy, did you think of the families of muggle-borns and half-bloods? Voldemort is going to wipe out over half the wizarding world and you suppose we're just going to sit back and_ let_ it happen?" His voice was soft and not harsh as it should have been.

My body was so tense. I couldn't answer him or move away. My body was frozen, and not because of some spell.

If I stay like this, maybe he'll forget I'm here?

A deep sigh left Sirius's mouth, as he began to rub my back in small smooth circles, every now and then he stroke my hair back comfortingly.

By his touch, I relaxed, and closed my eyes.

And I hate him for this. I really do.

But I trust him enough to let him do as he pleased.

"And _you_ failing Defense Against the _Dark_ Arts... Lexy, that's serious. You're right, we are doing it-"

"Sirius, don't say it, just don't." My hands clenched the hem of his shirt.

"For you," he finished, and with that I finally began to slowly, silently cry.

Sirius held me tightly and rested his head on top of mine.

After a moment Sirius pulled away, looking down at me.

"We better get going. By now James will be waiting outside the door." He smirked as he rose up from the couch. He offered me a hand, and I smiled, wiping away the tears before I took it.

He took a step backwards and eyed me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Just... wait a second." He said before he fixed up his wand and waved it at me. "Perfect."

_Uh..what was that?_ "I don't understand."

"Well if you are that dumb... this is a wand, my wizard wand." He waved it to prove his point. "And you use it to do _spells._" This time when he waved it, he knocked down one of the bookshelves.

I rolled my eyes.

"And I just used it so no-one will notice that you have-"

"I know _that._ But you didn't make a sound." I looked at the bookshelf he smashed. "How can you do a spell without saying a word?"

He studied me for some time before he answered. "It's one of the simplest things. You should have learned it by now in your classes. It's called a non-verbal spell."

I groaned. "But _how_ do you _do_ it?"

I didn't get the answer I wanted, no, instead he started to laugh.

Hate was the perfect word to explain my feelings for him. Hate.

"You just focus. In the beginning it's easier to do it if it's something you really want. James did it in third class when we were almost caught by the caretaker. He needed to explode something to lead Filch astray. And it had to be done without saying a word." He smirked.

"Uhm, why did it have to be done without saying a word?"

"Because when Mr. Filch stands inches from your face, you can't say a word."

"Meaning you used Dad's old invisibility cloak."

"Yup."

I stared at him for a minute or two, wondering if we were waiting for something.

And then it clicked.

"_Third year!_ Merlin's beard. He did it in _third year?_ Holy crap." I looked at Sirius. He seemed to be having a good time.

_Bastard._

"Yes, _we_ did."

"Then why _the _hell can't I do it?"

Sirius didn't answer, but he stepped towards the door.

He looked back at me. "Are you coming, or not? We have to go now, or James will start to wonder." He smirked and turned away.

I walked to the door and rested my arm on the handle. "Yeah, it's not like I have a boyfriend or something."

I swear I heard a small laugh slip from his throat before we walked out.

And true, as he said, James was actually waiting for us outside the door.

And he looked quite angry.

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><p><em>Thanks again to <em>_**annaisadinosaur **__for her help._

_This chapter would have sucked without her, I promise you._

_Next chapter will be out soon.._

_But it might take some more time than before sins all the chapters I have realized have been finished form before, and all I needed to do with them was to double-check them._

_Your beloved writer;_

_**-Lisa.**_


	6. So I Can Run From You

**Hey everyone. Thank you for reading my story and please R&R :)**

**I have been working quiet hard lately with UKM (Ungdomens Kultur Mønstring... That means; teenagers' cultural exhibition) And my school stuff... Homework and tests and the list goes on..**

**But I have managed to finish this chapter! :)**

**And I'm Really Sorry For Not Relishing It Until Now..**

**But here is it.**

**The next chapter,**

**And I Do NOT Own Harry Potter :)**

**Chapter sixth; So I Can Run From You_"_**

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><p>"What the fuck have you been doing?" James crossed his arms over his chest.<p>

"'What do you think we have been doing?" I looked back at him, quite annoyed.

James opened his mouth to snap back.

"Oh,_ no._ Don't answer it," I said before he got the chance.

Sirius laughed and walked past me. "So, Prongs, I think I know what we have to do."

"_Finally,_ that took some time. What's your plan?" James looked at Sirius and began to walk with him, and I followed behind.

"Well, I'll save that for this afternoon. I still have to get some stuff."

"Oh, come on, share it with me! You know your awful ideas need my genius head to be completed." James smirked and then looked at me. He studied me for a minute. "I'm wondering about something Lexy."

"Shoot"

"I thought you where all for the 'Boys and Girls should be friends' and against that 'boys and girls who are best friends is bound to fall in love' and so on. What happened?" He had a thoughtfull look on his face. A face I never have seen before.

"Oh, so now you see me as a girl?" I asked, so I didn't have to give him a real answer.

"No, not really."

"So then, I'm actually for the boys and girls can be best friends. Without falling in love-"

"But Lexy, when.. just when did you realize you were gay?" James smirked his winning looping smirk.

I giggled "Well, I think that was when.. I realized I had no interests in other_ ladies_."

"Oh, fairly answered. But, seriously, you and.. Lucas makes a_ sweet_ couple." He smirked that same signature smirk.

"Haha, at least I am _dating_. I can't say the same for you two." I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked back at him.

"Oh, so funny. But you'll see, I_ am_ going to win Lily over eventually."

"Right. Tell me when it happens." I glared at him, growing annoyed again.

"Why, so you can punch her? In her head or stomach?" I looked at Sirius; for a minute I had forgotten he was there. He held my gaze, but I couldn't hold his. I blushed and looked at my shoes, remembering the first time I met him.

I felt both Sirius and James's gaze on me; I knew James's gaze was more curious to my reaction, but Sirius was just enjoying every second.  
><em>Bastard.<em>

I began to mumble, "Well, um, no. I dunno,_ I already apologized for that!_" I managed to get out before I stalked off.

That idiot just had to bring up the past. Like it mattered anymore.

Right before I was about to go up the stairs they switched and moved the opposite direction.

Well, great, now I had to wait until they switched back. While I stood there waiting I heard voices coming near.

"Are you sure? You know she'll freak out."

"Well, better that than the_ lifeless shell_ she is now."

"So, if I convince Moony to help me and Wormtail to set up the stach..."

"I will wait for Pete's signal, and you will be coming with her... and we'll lie about our plans until it's ready to be set off."

"Right, but I'm _warning you_, Padfoot, if you hurt her in any way-"

"I know! And I wont, just _trust me_ Prongs."

"_Fine._"

_Oh, damn... James and Sirius are about to reach me!_ Damned stairs! I had no_ intention_ to talk and explain myself to them...

James and Sirius rounded the corner and I looked back at the stairs. _Come on!_ I glanced back at them and saw them exchanging looks and turned back at me with deadly smirks.

"Oh, no.. Don't you dare! You hear me?_ Don't you dare!_" They moved towards me with evil looks. Damn. My gaze went back to the stairs...

Right as the stairs stopped in front of me, I lunged forward to climb them, but two hands grabbed me around my waist and lifted me up before I got the chance.

James had_ swung me over his shoulders!_

He and Sirius ran up the stairs while I was kicking and screaming for James to let me down... But of course he didn't.

_Git._

"James let me down! For crying out loud! Let go!" No matter how much I struggled, I couldn't get out of his grip.

I began hitting his back when we went through the portrait hole.

"James!" I cried out once again. He and Sirius ran to each side of the common room. "Let go, _James!_"

He began spinning with me still on his shoulders when Sirius's voice echoed through the entire room, and everyone when quiet. "Hey, James mate, aren't we supposed to take care of the ladies?

"Take care of them, yes, but do as they please, absolutely not," James answered with one hand holding me and another fixing up his wand.

"James, no! _Nooo!_" He levitated me into the air and spun me across the room where he continued to spin me in the air, but made sure I stayed a few feet over everyone's head.

James looked at Sirius who held his gaze then he slowly nodded at him and slowed down the spinning.

Sirius stepped up on a table and jumped in the air, grabbing me in one swift motion and landing back perfectly on his feet.

My head was spinning, and when I finally came to my senses all I knew was that Sirius was looking down at me with one of those mischievous crooked grins, holding me bridal-style in his arms.

Damned bastard. Merlin, Sirius,_ now_ I hate you.

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><p><em>Thank a lot to<strong> annaisadinosaur <strong>for her help :)_

_Hope you guys liked the Chapter, and I Know it's a bit short :p_

_Please Review :)_

_Your Writer_

_-Lisa_

_(Pottermore name: ShieldStrar847)_


	7. And hide behind a Wall

**Chapter seven! ''_and hide behind a wall_''**

**I have worked really hard on this, so you better give me some respond!  
>Sorry it took some time to get it out, but I have been bissy at school.. And I'll <span>try<span> to publish tree chapters next week (Not in the same day, but throughout the weekend).**

**And I Do Not Own Harry Potter.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Ha-ha<em>, now let me down Sirius."

No answer.

"_Sirius_."

A pause.

"What, we can't let the fun stop now, or can we...Prongs?" He looked up at James with a looping smirk.

"Oh, no.. Absolutely not. We still have five minutes until classes start." James moved towards the boys dormitories. "Come on, lads," he said over his shoulder.

Sirius smirked and began following, with me still in his arms.

"_Hey,_ Black!" A Scottish familiar voice yelled.

_Oh,_ great… Luke. Oops.

"Let my _girlfriend_ go." He waved angrily with his arm.

"Oh, fine. What a party-pooper." Sirius groaned.

"Well, what did you expect? _You are_ messing around with _my _girl, Black." Luke glared at him.

Sirius finally let me down, and I moaned, still a bit gone after the spinning.

"We were only joking around. Smile a little mate, it helps." He grinned and leaned onto me with one hand one my shoulder, and I couldn't help but to grin back.

"Well maybe, or you should just find your own _girlfriend._" I had never seen Luke this furious before, and I was kind of scared he would blow up or something.

"Oh, get on with your life. It's not like I was going to _do_ something to her." He stepped away from me and began to walk after James. But when he reached the stairs Luke's voice clang in his ears.

"Maybe I would if you could just _back off_. To have the rest of Hogwarts witch population wrapped around your finger isn't good enough for you, is it? You just have to go around and steal_ everyone_ else's girlfriends?"

Sirius turned his head and looked at Luke.

My heart stopped for a minute, because what I saw in his gray eyes was like nothing I have ever seen. The darkness and annoyance was nothing like the coldness his eyes held right then while he looked at Luke. _My boyfriend_.

"Did it ever _occur_ to you, _Lucas_, that if I_ wanted_ or needed to be her_ boyfriend_, I would already have her?" With this he gave half a winning smile and went after James.

Luke turned around and looked at me, still furious.

"Is that true?"

I didn't answer.

"Lexy, _is that true?_" I heard him desperately cry out.

But I couldn't answer. I hadn't understood what was going on.

I didn't understand.

What happened?

What did he say?

What was happening _now_…?

I opened my mouth to answer, but not a sound left my lips.

Luke groaned and turned around. "_Just_... Just meet me by the black lake after our classes. And then we can talk." He walked away, and I knew I could die any moment now, any moment.

I blinked and went down to the library and grabbed my back-pack before I went to my classes.

This time, my classes didn't go well, at all. I didn't speak, even when spoken to.

I even ate dinner in silent. And for those whom knew me, this was a big deal... this was an enormous warning sign.

It didn't make it better with the concerned looks James gave me, even though it was sweet of him, it didn't help.

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><p><em>Thanks a lot to <strong>annaisadinosaur <strong>for helping me out! It means a lot really!  
>And I have opened a poll at my profile about this story and I hope you'll check it out and vote!<br>I need your opinion to continue the story.. So please vote and Review! _

_Your writer_

_-Lisa._


	8. What I keep telling you

**Chapter eight ''_What I keep telling you_''**

**This chapter is short, but nice.**

**R&R**

**I Do Not Own Harry Potter.**

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><p>When I finished eating, I went to the Black Lake to face Luke.<p>

I didn't know what to expect of this and I knew I wasn't prepared for whatever would happen.

But I was here.

I stood watching the back of Luke's head. He was sitting on a rock and looking down in the lake.

"Lucas," I spoke his full name, something I rarely did. I only did it when it was a serious matter.

And don't go and twist my words!

But oddly, this was a serious matter, and I had a tiny feeling we might just have to discuss Sirius himself. And if we did, and a bad outcome comes out of this.. I'm going to kill, yes kill, Sirius fucking Black.

Oh, yeah.. I have had plenty of time to think, and if I'm going to blame anyone, I'm going to blame him.. And that's because of what that damned bastard said.

"Tell me about him Lexy, tell me everything," Luke ordered me with sadness in his voice, but I didn't care, I had already decided to tell him a good deal. Yes, I wasn't going to tell him every detail and that's because it was private; not in a bad way, but it was_ private_.

I wasn't going slip out any of James's secrets, or Sirius's secrets.

And I had one, just one thing, secret, incident, something of my own that I was _not_ going to tell him about.

I sat down beside him and told him about my first meeting with Sirius and that I hated him then. I continued with telling him how he became like a second brother to me before I started my first year at Hogwarts, and I told him about Sirius moving in at our parents (mine and James's). And I told him how comforting and supporting he was towards me.

"And you don't love him at all?" His clear blue eyes looked into mine, searching for answers.

"I do love him, but not like that," I tried to convince him.

"Then like how?" He was still holding my gaze, daring me to look away. But I didn't.

"He's like a second brother to me."

"You don't act like that around James."

"Yes, he's different from James. With James I can't be mad. Not even for a second. But I'm very capable of being mad at Sirius... Like I said, he is a second brother to me." It wasn't the only difference, but I wasn't going to get into details.

"Why did he say that if he wanted you, then he would just get you?"

"Well, I don't know; I can't read his mind. But he probably said it because he didn't like your attitude." And_ that,_ my friend, was probably the truth.

"Well, I will admit that it got a bit out of hand."

"_A bit_?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh fine, have it your way."

"Thank you." I smirked and he looked at me a minute before he burst out laughing.

"_Aaand_ that was a lot drama for nothing." He pulled me into a hug and rested his head on top of mine. "And I'm sorry for putting you through this."

I smirked and hugged him back. "It's okay. As long as we are together."

He pulled just a little bit away so he could look down at me. He studied me for a minute, before he leaned down and kissed me softly. I almost melted at the spot as I leaned back into his kiss.

After a while he pulled away and smirked.

"Are you freezing?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Lets go," he said as he grabbed my hand and walked up to the castle with me.

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><p><em>Thanks a lot to <strong>Annaisadinosaur <strong>for all her help!  
>And people, you have to go to my profile and vote for witch character you want more of inn the story!<br>_

_Your author  
>-Lisa.<em>


	9. And what you told me

**Chapter nine; And what you kept telling me.**

**This is a special day, every Potterhead knows it!**

_**I DO NOT OWN HP; JKR DOSE!**_

_**So I guess you want a knew chapter? well it is finally here, so go on and read it!**_

_**I have been holding this chapter back until today :)**_

_**Congratulation Harry Potter and Jo!**_

_**enjoy :)**_

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><p>The first thing I saw when I got in was James talking to a red haired girl. I blinked and looked closer as I realized that the girl was Lily Evans. My brother was talking to Lily Evans. James Potter was having a chat with Lily Evans. James Potter and Lily Evans together, Lily Evans and James Potter.<p>

Nope, not possible.

Must have been the light or something.

"Are you seeing that, too, or is this just a really bad prank?" I heard Luke ask me.

"Oh, so it isn't just a trick of the light? It's actually Lily and James... James and Lily. This is so wrong." I blinked and looked back at them. I smiled as I saw them laugh.

Wait. They laughed? Oh good Merlin. This was not happening.

I shook my head and began walking again with Luke.

"So, James.. your brother, is actually getting along with Lily? Never thought I'd live to see the day. Honestly." Luke looked at me for my reaction, but I wasn't too surprised.

"Oh, I kind of had a feeling it would happen one day.. But I didn't think it would happen before the war was over with, or something." I didn't know exactly what I should say.

"Well, as far as I know, people gamble more in times of war. So Lily chose to take a chance with James."

I thought for a minute before I chose my words carefully. "I.. just, don't think that's the reason.. I mean, there has to be more to it.. right?" I didn't know much about love and war. But I had an idea of what I wanted it to be like. And it didn't include gambling.

"Maybe." Luke smirked at me and led me back to the common room. I was watching Luke the entire time; it was unbelievable how he made me feel..feel so, so safe.

"Luke, there's more between us than just a gamble, right?" I looked at him in his wonderful, amazingly, light-filled blue eyes.

"Of course it is. You're my mate and the love of my life." I knew what he said was true as soon the words left his mouth. His attractive, soft, tasteful lips.

"So you will never throw me away? Never replace me? You will never leave me?" I knew it sounded desperate... but I needed to hear this.

"No! I'll never do something like that to you, Lexy, never. Have I done or said anything to make you unsure?"

I smirked at his answer and kissed him. "Don't die then."

"I promise I won't die."

"Good." I hugged him tightly, wishing I never had to let go. And when he loosened is grip around me, I clung to him and gripped a piece of his shirt in my hand. "Please, could we just stay like this for a while?" I pleaded with him. He smiled down at me and took my hand, leading me to the sofa. He slowly laid down and dragged me down with him, onto his chest.

"Yeah, let's stay like this for a while." He smirked and winked at me.

I bushed and giggled. "Perv."

"Oh? But you love me anyway," he teased while he rubbed smooth circles on my lower back.

"Yes, I do." Wow, can't believe I said that without having a mental fight with myself.

He looked at me straight in the eyes with a cocky half smile.

"What?" I asked, a little nervous.

"I don't know if I've ever told you.. But, you know, you're beautiful." He finished with a full out lovely grin.

I felt blood run to my cheeks and my face began to burn. As fast as I could, I turned away from him.

In return, he grabbed my chin and turned my face to look at him. "Hey, don't look away from me. Please, I need to be able to watch you." He lent towards to me and kissed me softly. I kissed him back and smiled against his lips.

It was amazing how he so simply could make me feel things I had never have felt in my whole life. With only a look he could make my stomach flip, and if he winked at me with his oh so sexy pervert smirk, I swear I could die. It wasn't only that, but the way he kissed me, looked at me, and protected me since the first time we met. He was so caring, so trustworthy. I swear to Godric that I'm telling the truth when I say I was head-over-heels in love with him since third year; only at the end of last year I finally confessed to him what I felt for him. It was actually Sirius who told me to either give or get over it. When he said give, he meant give in. And so I did, but I would have chickened out if he hadn't grabbed me and reminded me of who I am. Bless him, that bastard.

I was so lost in the kiss and my feelings for Luke that I didn't react when he cupped my ass in his hand, or when someone leaned over us, but it was the voice of the person I loved most of all, and feared most in time of danger, that finally got a reaction out of me.

"Ahem! Getting cozy there? Well, sorry, but I will not allow my sister to be fucked on a sofa in the middle of the common room!"

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><p>You all know that the 31 july is harry and J.K R Birthday, but It is also mine! So this chapter is for all of you Potterheads out there! :)<p>

_Review!  
>And thanks a lot to annaisadinosaur!<em>


	10. The What?

**I apologize about the late publish of this chapter, but it just slipped my mind. I will not make up any excuses. I simply forgot about for a moment and for that, I must say I am sorry, and that it will not happen again.**

**I do not own HARRY POTTER and the characters from the series.**

**Chapter 10**

**The What?**

**R&R :)**

"_Ahem! Getting cozy there? Well, sorry, but I will not allow my sister to be fucked on a sofa in the middle of the common room!"_

No need to say that I almost flew to the other side of the room when I heard '_my sister_.' My face was on fire, and I didn't dare to hold his gaze.

"Aveluxy, what the hell are you doing?" he asked, and I could feel the mad, hard look he was sending me.. But I would not challenge his glare. I could be reckless, yes, but I wasn't stupid. Only a fool would meet his glaze when he was in this kind of mood. And since I was his sister, it would be even worse. _Trust_ me. "Look at me." Oh fuck, say hello to hell.

I looked up at him, petrified. My cheeks were burning of shame. "Come along. We're going to talk. You and I, privately." I nodded and followed him out of the common room. He led me to the room Sirius had taken me to earlier.

"What were you doing?" he repeated now that we were by ourselves.

I only looked at the floor, not saying a word.

"Answer," he said softly.

Damn. There was really no way out now.

"Snogging," I stated as fast as I could.

"Really?"

"Yes." I dropped my eyes back to my feet.

"You were all over each other!" he hissed, moving to the other side of the room. "You cannot actually think I would believe that." His voice was full of disgust.

"We did not do anything."

"No, you were about to do something. And that something, I would never want to witness or hear about, ever in my life." I was still too scared to meet his eyes. "Lexy, look at me."

Well, never mind, damn, now I had to. Nervously, I lifted my gaze to meet his. And to my surprise, his face was gentle and calm. "You are only fifteen, Lexy," he said.

"James, we did _not_ do that, and we were not going -"

"I know what I saw, Lexy! You cannot feed me your lies!" he hissed, looking tense again.

"But you do not understand!-"

"Yes I do, you two have gone and done it all, with no clue of what you have wasted and not to mention that you are _way _too young!"

"But, I am a virgin, James!" I blurted out anxiously.

"I told you to not– wait, what?"

"A virgin," I repeated and happily watched him relax.

His hand found his hair and he ruffled it idly. He looked at me, one moment relieved and the next suddenly uncomfortable. Then he asked, "What do you actually know about sex?"

"Uh, it requires both a male and a female. If you are not careful enough you will end up with children. And then there was something about love and trust."

I heard him mumble something that sounded like, "_more like love and lust_," before he looked at me blankly. "Is that really all you know?"

I nodded.

"Oh god. I will have Mum and Dad have the 'talk' with you as soon as possible," he said and began to move towards the door.

I didn't react at first, but then I turned to look at him just as he skipped out of the door. "Hey! What talk! _Jamsie_!" I yelled as I followed him out of the door.

The first thing I saw when I came out of the room was a tired looking Sirius, leaning against the opposite wall. I sent him a wary, confused glare before spotting a sleeping Remus propped up against the wall next to him.

James walked over to Remus and knocked him over. Sirius blinked at him and raised a questioning eye-brow at him, and asked in one word, "So?"

James gaze was focusing on the way too lazy Remus as he began to move. He took his time before he finally answered him. "Clean, but naive."

"Let's go then," he said and dragged Remus up on his feet. "We better get back before Peter wakes up and notices us missing. He tried to stay awake 'till you came back.. But the map showed us something.. interesting." He quickly sent a gaze in my direction before he continued, "So Remy here and I, decided to... finish our latest Divination prank.. but we heard you yell. So, here we are." He began to walk side by side with James, while he dragged Remus behind him.

"We'll finish it tomorrow then," James simply pointed out. "Now I just need a good night's sleep."

"No can do.. we're gonna burn you... Evans, remember?" Remus suddenly and tiredly stated.

And that was all I could hear before they disappeared round the corner.

As always, I didn't understand a damn thing about them, and all I could think of as I walked back was, _What the hell?_

I had a million questions that night as I curled up in my bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

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><p><em>Thanks again to annaisadinosaur for her amazing help!<br>_**And I can say that it might take some time until the next chapter gets released, and that's because all of my work is on my old computer and I have to get hold of it and then send it to my beta reader _annaisadinosaur._**

**_Thanks again!_**

**_-Lisa _**


	11. Chapter 11

**SO I noticed you have all waited way to long for this chapter, but it will be weekly updates from now and until my school starts up again. An sorry about the wait, but I had to rewrite the story… but here you go **

**I do not own HP or anything you recognise form the books/movies.**

**Chapter 11**

_**You live by your decisions, or the choice is made for you.**_

**R&R**

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><p>"<em>I had a million questions that night as I curled up in my bed and slowly drifted off to sleep."<em>

Lucas stood in front of me, smiling. I turned around and saw them, James and Sirius, looking like they were talking gravely about something. James looked like he was in despair, and Sirius looked like he was getting frustrated.

Funny, never had I seen those expressions on their faces and somewhere in my heart, it stung. I couldn't handle that reality; they were the fools, clowns, funny blokes… Not ones to worry. I didn't want to see those faces.

I was about to approach them when I felt someone grab my arm. And then I heard his whisper, "Would it be me or them, if you had to choose? Will you ever choose me over them?" I turned around and gazed into Luke's eyes. I saw sadness there, but something was wrong with James, something Sirius was worrying about. So I turned around to look at them again, and I saw Sirius break out in an incredible smile, and then James cracked up, falling on his ass laughing.

So it was okay then. I smirked, and turned around to Luke. "It will be you, always, Luke."

Then he faded and I was standing in the attic at home. It was cozy here with only a dim light in the foreground. I looked around and they were here, Sirius, James and Remus, lying on the floor together, laughing. "Lexy, get your ass back over here," Remus shouted to me. So I walked over to them and lay down in my spot between James and Sirius. We were lying in a circle so I was opposite to Remus. James and Sirius looked at each other and smiled, which made me wonder a bit. Then they laid their hands over my shoulder and waist, and did the same with Remus.

"So what are we talking about then, Remus?" I asked, smiling. "And why didn't Pete come up here, too?" I added on second thought.

"Oh, stuff, you know. Memories, mostly, like when you punched Sirius and threw a book at my head, for starters." Remus smirked at my sudden frustration.

"Yo- you… I apologized for that! Don't nag me about it…" I stuttered lamely.

"Oooh, did you, now? Sirius must be the luckiest man alive… I don't remember being treated with such standards…" Remus joked lightly.

"OH, sorry then… happy?" I asked, irritated, and it didn't make it better when Remus smiled from one cheek to the other.

"Oh, yes… yes I am." He said, and the others began laughing.

I shook my head a bit and reached out and slapped him lightly in the back of his head. "And I'm not even going to bother to apologize about that." I stated and turned to lie on my back, which caused James and Sirius to sit back.

"Guys, no matter what, we'll always have each other's backs, right?" James asked them.

"Sure," Remus said quickly, without second thought.

Sirius paused, and I started doubting him when James sent him a look. He sighed before he finally gave his response. "Always, James, I'll always be here," he said and sincerely smiled.

Then James looked questioningly at me. "What about Pete?" I questioned. "Isn't he important?"

"Of course he is. We'll ask him the same when we go to bed," James answered. "So what are you going to do, then?"

"I will have your backs. Promise."

Then the scene faded.

"_It will be you, always, Luke."_

"_I will have your backs. Promise."_

I woke that night feeling a bit anxious. Dreaming about fading memories was quite normal for me, but why these… and why now?

_I wouldn't have to choose between those two, right?_

_No... _I told myself before deciding that going out for some fresh air would be a good idea.

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><p><em>Next chapter will soon be out.<em>

_Thanks again to annaisadinosaur!_

_See you next week :)_


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